if i lay here. if i just lay here.

When I was sixteen, nope make that fifteen, I rode around in a Durango with two really amazing people. We did that a lot. Fifteen. Woah. Im only eighteen now, so i dont know why fifteen sounds so scary and long ago, but it does. Doesnt it? I remember a lot of the things we did, but I specifically remember one night. It was New Years Eve, and Jon hadn't moved in to his new house yet. Every single person that drank was at this girls house partying. And we weren't. Those were the days where an invitation to that would have been 1) a joke 2) a miracle 3) nonexistent. I miss those days. I'm spoiled in that I can say I'm sick of being invited to things like that. I miss the days when the three of us would instead call Levi and he would bring over three Sparks and the remaining fourth of his Vodka. And we would party. I wouldn't be able to walk after three shots. (shots that were mixed with three diet dews). Diet Dew reminds me of Josh, which is a whole different fifteen year old subject.

Anyway...we spent that new years riding around in Jon's Durango. It was snowing that sticky snow that excites all the kids and scares all the parents. Mine called and made sure I was at Kinzees. Yep. (Jon......turn down the radio). I miss that so much. The one moment that I will never forget was when the song 'chasing cars' came on. Really great song. A slow motion, reminiscent song. We started doing donuts down a side street, and we were spinning in slow motion as the song played. That is EXACTLY how I feel right now. A slow excitement and fear for summer and everything that it will bring. A fear for the end of freshmen year, one step closer to having nothing going for me.