my mom just made me toast while i blogged and drank coffee. yay.

The three texts I sent Laura last night said this::

1) A guy just sat by me, hit on me, and then he asked me if we were cousins (no joke. -- i told him we were)
2) i just realized that every single girl here is wearing an AE hoodie.
3) three out of four boys has chew in their mouthes.



Its good to be home. The thing thats weird is that I never found those things weird before.



Im now going to try to explain something that is so simple that it makes for a difficult explanation. In high school I always wanted to be somewhere I couldnt be (your bed), around people i couldnt be around (your mom), do things i couldnt do (you get the point--perv) etc. But in Madison I can do whatever I want, whenever. Its amazing. And now coming home, I have nothing to long for. I long to long. Desire to desire. (oh my gosh ridiculous i know ...so stupid) (or then again, maybe its completely normal.) (whenever i JUST realize something...i think im so unique, when im not). The best feeling ever is when you walk in to the C store, or wherever, and can pick and pop you want. (WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??!) I still feel so innocent about things like that. I can do WHATEVER i want now, that I miss those old feelings a little too. I know that i'll have to wait to do things, like travel, graduate, find a hunka hunka, steal a baby, run away, start a family, build an empire, create a reality tv show, and then get a divorce and be happy. (hehe) But I also know that I can do them whenever, and however I want.



Maybe that is why people do so little in their life. They think that they can do it whenever (afternoon delight), and never end up doing it (abstinence). When something holds you back (like parents/hs/a leash when you were 13 and in the mall with your mom/ lack of a condom) you take the first opportunity to be free of it. But when nothings holding you back, you have nothing to stop you, and its almost too easy. I never want to be like that. ick. yuck. call me an ambulance. no thanks. Thats one of my biggest fears (becoming old bitter regretful and boring). My other fears are :: 1) watching someone im in love with get married (im kind of getting over this fear because i realize there are SO many people out there) 2) friend/family dying---obviously. 3) going insane (i just think that would be a nuisance) 4) rachel being forced to eat a mushroom. i wouldnt want to watch that.

country music. amish. low maintenance gravel roads. Harmony water tower. :) happy spring break.