i miss the days when cocaine was in Coke

I just remembered that time that Kinzee purposely pushed me while I was holding an ice cream cone. We planned it all out. I would fall, drop my ice cream on the floor of the IGA, and then we'd ditch so that Kelsey would have to clean it up. That always makes me laugh. You only have a small window of time in your life when you can get away with crap like that. Im pretty sure we were too old for such bitchy things, but we did it anyway.

Small windows. Youre only allowed to scream out eighth floor dorm windows when youre living in one. You can only get away with running over a mailbox with your dads car at a certain age. Im not too old for that stuff. Im not too old to for Disney songs and Im not too old to quote Holden Caulfield. Im not too old to take free stickers, put them on my shirt, move them around, let them lose their stick, and then put them on someones back. Im not too old to pass out with my clothes on, get up and wear them to class. Im not too old to write letters back home on paper napkins. Im not too old to draw pictures of strangers, doodle fish and flowers, play tic tac toe during class, and look at the clock every ten minutes waiting to go outside. Im definitely not too old for Wizards of Waverly Place, and Im not too old for ice cream as a meal. Im not too old to fuck things up. Im too young for some things though. Sometimes I still feel like a little kid, not ready for some things I put myself through. I like people that can protect my innocence. Thats what I like.

I just cant help but think that i'll live forever. Maybe that is helpful. I can enjoy the day, and not worry. If you live forever, there is no need to worry. I have nothing of importance to worry about anyway. A test? No way. A paper? Nooo. I always ask myself ------are you going to remember this in 5 years? Most likely not. But I think I'll remember sitting in a stair case doing something I can only get away with for a few years and WISHING TIME WOULD PAUSE. I wish I could hold the world and tell it everything will be okay. Its weird, but maybe it just needs comfort. This is stupid: But the night before I took my ACT I couldnt fall asleep because I was so anxious. Finally at 3 a.m. (fists balled up in anger) I started to cry because I was SO mad. I couldnt force myself to fall asleep, right before this 'important' day. So I go in to my mom and dads room, lay down on the foot of their bed and sleep. I love that. Im not too old for that.