Rule: You cant not be happy on a FRIDAY.

Things that have made me cry this week: my womens studies discussion (it was just sad), an intense holliesquote, a new song, pretty much everything. (including a car commercial. and a phone call with my mom. ---weirD)

But then I realized (as kinzee's mom put it when kinzee asked her about it and kinzee told me this story after I told her ive been oh so emotional lately) "its part of being a woman". Am I gonna wear that hat I got a month ago but have only worn twice because i JUST cant quite figure out which outfit it goes with today? yes, i fucking am. And you know what it goes with? A white t and jean shorts. Am I gonna wear tennis shoes? hell no. Im wearing flip flops. Is it kinda chilly out...maybe. FUCK YOU. I dont care. I just DONT care. FINALLY. Is this really only the first week back? Its been a long one. And Im so ready for the weekend. Isnt everyone? GOD. We're all such stars stuck between earth and the milky way. Um question? Do you want to change the world? I want to. You want to. CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME HOW. Thats why no one does anything..........no one knows what to do or how to do it. Find what makes you so A.D.D that you cant stop cracking your knuckles and a smile sticks on your fat face while you manage to blurt out your emotions on the subject? WHAT does it?!!! find that. I need to. Everyone needs to. Andy and I were have a little hand to hand (boy/girl heart2heart) last night. He kept saying how everyone at this school wants to make a difference. And I dont know if thats true, but maybe it is. The best parts of those people. (the rest of themselves can fuck the other bad parts). I want to write a book. Write a play. Write you a poem. Make you a movie. But I cant face your reaction. Dont you get it?!! Im a coward. I cant stand that you wont like what I say. I cant stand that you'll think im a fool. So I hide behind a computer. A pen. And then I sit, quiet. And I'll never know your reaction to what you read. Its comforting. I dont want to feel comfortable.

I want to feel on fire. And I cant stand this world this week. Its killing me. Its making me cry and its making me angry. BUT like dodgeball told us all :::::::Youve gotta get angry. Youve gotta get madddd. Sarah wants to make her mark. I love that, who says that?, I LOVE THAT. Rachel is seriously going to save the world, no questions asked. Laura will set you on fire, make you want everything out of life. Aaron is so passionate. Ughhh. So driven. Colleen could literally do anything she wanted, and she does, and she will. Evan is going to conserve every fricken plant out there and keep us in supply of oxygen. Andy will figure everything out. I know he will. He'll solve our problems. Aimee could inspire anyone, anywhere, anytime to be themself. No lie. I love it. I LOVE IT.

You cant not be happy, its Friday.