It was just one of those nights you never want to forget, never will. Last floor meeting, I'll miss the 8th floor of Chadbourne. "Guys, lets take a picture!!!" Okay, Vessalina. Lets get these 35 people out of this small room in less than twenty minutes and take a damn picture. Im twelve, no smile. Yet, my brain is grinning. I can feel Evan being torn between resting his chin on my head, or just ditching that pose to remain normal. Flash, and I can already imagine what our smiles look like. Smiles that define us, tell you everything we know. Evan looks like someone just handed him a plant that has recently went extinct and its his job to restore the entire species (?) (super happy). Andy looks like a playboy, these people on his arms are his hoes. Didnt ya know? Leah looks like she's posing for a high school sports picture, her mom is going to wear that smile on a button to every game she plays for the next year. Rachel has on her 'just saw Bella' smile. Sarah just found out she got in to the business school. And I...am being...an asshole.
Aaron strains his windblown eyes, and sensitive lungs (seriously, sensitive) to come visit me. We're not sit and chat while watching tv people. We're lets go walk on state and find a place to sit, random as fuck people. Cute boy, cuter when he puts on my glasses. We talk girls and boys. We return, more in love than ever.
Andy and Omar are waiting for me, cracking it. We head down state street to buy a portable device used to generate a flame. Walgreens is closed, I whine. Random man tells us a convenience store is at 503 State. Thanks, doll. You can trust people. Thats one thing Ive learned, you dont have to sit and be scared that everyone is trying to steal your grandmas purse or sexually abuse your grandpa. People are decent primates, most of the day. While we get the flame machine, Omar goes to Taco Bell. He finds a packet of HOT sauce that says 'Marry me?' Oui!
We walk to the lake. Past the terrace. Down lakeshore path. Park bench. Low to the ground. Sit. Hit. People. Leave. Instead, lets climb up this hill. We climb, and its hard work, but fun. Bench in the woods near the trail. I wish everyone could have seen that view; an end all wars, feed the children, lets all be lovers, type view. Moon shining off the lake, trees anything but in the way. We're just having so many little breakthroughs, realizations, learning life lessons. We're making 'Imagine' come to life with our silly, excited, peaceful words. We're spoiled, and now its known. Andy talks about his parents lives. They are average American citizens. A nurse and a post office man. Completely respectable, and we realize they must be in the top 1 percent of happiness in the world. We are sitting high up on this roundish little hill, and the moon is clear as day. I feel like we are giants sitting on the very edge of the earth, rolling and spinning with the Earth. Everything is still, understood, happy. The world is asleep and we decide when it wakes. I could talk about this for hours. Its what I love, my mind working so smoothly. And then we walk up the remaining steps, on to the sidewalk, cops. Oh shit. My heart is in my throat, normal for me, but still.
I get intense. I start talking about the cops and how they are just waiting there, that they will drive down by our dorms once we get closer. I keep going. Scenario after scenario. Words spill out of my mouth and my heart races. Andy just keeps rubbing my shoulder, Mellll. Melll. He says Im always making up these crazy scenarios, stories. I cant relax, because I believe it to be true. Andy then says something that makes my heart burst, he talks about how for the past 30 years this exact same scenario has played out. Kids scared that cops are going to follow them back to Chadbourne. Isnt that funny? We're not so different.
Room. Snacks. Bed. I love my life.
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